My sister in law was very, very not drunk at all on holiday, when she revealed to the assembled masses that she sent her husband down the garden to wee on the compost

Can I have a quick word in your ear ?
(I have) something to tell you you see
My brother in law makes urea
and enriches his compost with wee

He sneaks down the garden at midnight
It must be in darkness I think
and he climbs up the mountain of compost
having had lots of water to drink

Their tea bags and potato peelings
Old newspapers, rotting and faded
Are all piled in a heap
Onto which Presto leaps
Just waiting to be biodegraded

His experience shows, he’s sure footed
He don’t tumble, or slide – never slips
He just stands there astride his leftovers
And confidently starts to unzip

He unleashes the Prestonic Piddler
The wondrous pride of the nation
Cometh Mark, cometh hour
He lets loose a great shower
Of nitrate enriched irrigation